Most couples want to proclaim their marriage to the entire world. However, there are times when couples want to get married discreetly. RiverMist, in the foothills of North Carolina, provides privacy in a beautiful outdoor setting. This past weekend two couples chose our retreat center for this very reason.The first couple was from out of state, having traveled to North Carolina to celebrate the holiday weekend. We had been in contact by email and the bride told me they couldn’t legally marry at this time but wanted a ceremony to ‘bind their love’. Often, when people hear the term ‘commitment ceremony’ they automatically assume it is a same-sex union. This is not always the case. There are many reasons why couples can’t legally marry. Many times it is financial but it could any number of other reasons. I respect privacy so I don’t ask personal questions.
A commitment ceremony is very similar to a wedding ceremony and much of the same wording can be used. The main difference is the couple cannot be pronounced, husband and wife... ‘By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife…..etc’.
Other than that, vows are spoken, rings are exchanged, promises are made. It is a marriage of the heart.
And the second couple…. After their ceremony I was asked if I had ever married the same couple twice. I talked a little about some of my experiences. As it turns out there was a situation where it was necessary for them to be legally married now but plans had already been made for a formal wedding at a later date.
It’s funny how couples wait until after I have married them to ‘tell their story’. Often, it’s after the ceremony they tell me they’re expecting a child. I guess they think it would make a difference… Not so. The only difference is that I would have suggested including a ‘Blessing/Recognition’ of their unborn child in their ceremony.
However, this was not the case this past weekend. Theirs was an entirely different set of circumstances, which I will keep to myself by not revealing any details… I look forward to officiating their ‘Renewal of Vows’ next year! This couple will have two wedding experiences. The fun of eloping and keeping a BIG secret.. And celebrating with family and friends…
Whatever you choose for you wedding, make sure it’s what YOU want.. This is your day, your time, your love… Only you know what’s right for you..
