Married at Looking Glass Falls - Valentine's Day Wedding

February 14^th, Valentine’s Day, the day of love… Also, the day that Greg and Phoenix will now celebrate as their wedding anniversary.

Looking Glass falls is a very popular place for small, intimate weddings. There is a platform at the base of the falls and can accommodate a few guests. It is a public area but I find most guests are respectful and often happy to be part of a celebration.

The waterfall is easily accessible, if you can manage ‘a few’ steps. I’m not sure how many but I did need to stop and catch my breath when walking up to the parking area.

Who would believe it 66 degrees in the middle of February! Although the temperature was warm there was still a good bit of ice surrounding the falls. There was one ‘macho’ visitor who had to take a plunge in the water, possibly to impress the young woman with him. He was drenched from head to toe as he walked back to the car. Hopefully, he planned in advance and had dry clothes waiting.

As I waited for Greg and Phoenix I watched several couples walking, hand in hand, to the waterfall. You could just feel love in the air. There were a few visitors around when Greg and Phoenix arrived. It was now obvious that something very special was getting ready to happen.

Phoenix and Greg graciously welcomed the other visitors to witness their wedding. At the appropriate time, there was a nice 'round of applause' for the newlyweds! Everyone loves love....

Here's the new Mr. and Mrs. showing off their rings for the photographer.

Isn't her dress perfect?

Greg and Phoenix had taken great care in writing personal vows to each other, stating many times, ‘you are my reflection’. How appropriate that they marry in front of Looking Glass Falls.

Loki was not happy that he had to watch from a distance. He was ready to have his photo taken with the bride.

Wishing the new family much happiness always!

Winter Wedding Warms the Heart

Today was wonderful! I had the pleasure of being part of a very special wedding.

When April and Paul arrived I asked a few questions about the ceremony. April said she ‘just wanted to leave married’. I told her that I could certainly take care of that.

April and Paul had hoped to get married outside but it was a chilly, windy day. They decided it was much more comfortable inside, by the fire. They did step out on the deck long enough for a few photos.

The ceremony began with the lighting of candles. During the ceremony, it was evident that they were listening to each and every word I said. Later April told me that the wording was perfect.

The ‘Prayer of Love’ was used as the benediction

My marriage prayer for you is this:
That you will always remember the qualities that attracted you to each other when you first met and how you felt as your feelings of attraction turned into respect, admiration and finally love. That you will work hard to turn your feelings of love into acts of love so that nothing and no one can divide you. That you will always have kind and loving hearts, that are quick to ask for forgiveness when you are wrong as well as to forgive when your partner is wrong. That your love might grow to hear all things, believe all things, and hope for all things, endure all things. I pray you place your marriage in God's hands, and that your love increases and overflows, beyond anything you can yet imagine.

Those who God has joined together let no one put asunder.

Wedding Planning - Feeling Stressed?

Are you tired of answering questions and making decisions? Do you need a break from wedding planning?

You may want to consider a day or so (or even a few hours) alone. And of course, you may want to spend some time with the one you love, remembering why you’re getting married in the first place…..Our retreat center, RiverMist, might be exactly what you need.

Maybe you just need to take a deep breath. What better place, than in the beauty of nature. I will teach you a few breathing techniques and then provide a private area so you can practice. Many people find solace, sitting by a large body of water or a simple flowing stream. Nothing is more calming than the sound of flowing water. It’s no accident that we have placed hammocks along the creek. Sometimes breathing exercises turn into a nice long nap!

Time in nature can do wonders for your spirit. Or you may just want to curl up and watch a movie and forget about ‘everything’ for a while. Think about it for a minute. Doesn’t it sound wonderful… to have time to do exactly what you want to do… even if it is nothing. Wedding planning can become very stressful. So many details to take care of but you must remember that taking care of yourself is THE most important detail.

And then, there is another option… do you feel overwhelmed with the whole process and have no idea where to start? I will be happy to arrange a retreat designed especially for your needs. After you have time to ‘catch your breath’, (breathing exercises) I’ll sit down with you and help you get started with the planning. I have professional and personal experience and will gladly share my resources. I emphasize that I am a minister, not a wedding planner. However, with my experience I can certainly point you in the right direction, helping you get your thoughts organized. There are often very important details that are forgotten until the last minute. It is best to address these issues early in the process. This will prevent many headaches later.

This is a special time in your life and you want to enjoy every minute of it. Take care of yourself!

Winter Weddings

The last few weeks have flown by.. Where does time go? One day you're celebrating Thanksgiving and the next thing you know it's January!

It has been busy, with the holidays and winter weddings. However, this wasn't enough... I decided it would be a good time to take a week long class at John Campbell Folk School, located near Murphy, NC.  Not sure what I was thinking but back in June it seemed like a good idea. The weather was extremely cold but it was a wonderful experience.

Even with the all the holiday activity there was time for some winter weddings. Some were private so there are no photos to display. There was a New Year's Eve wedding that I can share some photos.

 Kathy and Alex traveled quite a distance to marry at our Retreat Center. And it was wonderful that there parents were able to travel as well.

They each have children from a previous marriage. Unfortunately, it was not possible for all of the children to attend the wedding. Kathy had mentioned that she wanted to light a candle in memory of family members who have passed on and also as a way of remembering family and friends who could not be with them on their wedding day.

As an added touch I asked Kathy and Alex to each select a gemstone heart. Then they selected individual hearts for each of their children . These were placed around the candle. And now they are displayed in their home, representing their new family. I love including elements that truly make a ceremony special.

 As you can see from the short sleeves, the weather cooperated. To be honest, we've only had a few weddings that had to be moved inside.

Another happy couple.....

Lake Lure Wedding - Sarah and Shane

 I just received these photos from a wedding I officiated at Lake Lure in October. As you can see, this is an absolutely beautiful location. And the best part... it's very affordable. Which means it is very popular.

The waterfront gazebo is located in the town park. There are several restaurants nearby so you could have a nice reception dinner without driving very far. And if you want more options for dining, Asheville in a short drive.

One couple from out of state planned an entire weekend for their guests, arranging for everyone to visit Chimney Rock State Park and take a boat tour of Lake Lure. (By the way, if you don’t know, Dirty Dancing was filmed at Lake Lure. Their guests were very happy to receive such special ‘treatment’. And this is really important when family and friends travel a great distance to be with you on your wedding day. Their comfort should be an important consideration.

 I met with Sarah and Shane before their wedding and they were able to give me a clear idea of what they envisioned for their ceremony. Shane had one main request, which I was able to honor...

The weather was perfect on the BIG day. I started watching the forecast about a week ahead of the date and felt like everything would be ok. But with the weather, you never really know. And... the gazebo at Lake Lure is large enough to move everything inside if necessary.

And here they are... all the planning.. all the work.. Finally married! Ready to celebrate with family and friends before heading to the Carribean.

Planning a wedding – Where to start

As you probably already know there are a ton of resources on the internet to help with wedding planning. Checklists of all descriptions, some basic, some very detailed. Every wedding and bride magazine has one. There are wedding planning books and journals to make sure every detail is addressed. It can be quite overwhelming… Even small weddings and simple elopements require planning and preparation.

Through the years I have received numerous inquiries from couples who want to marry but ‘have no idea where to start’. Many are coming from out of state or even out of the country. Wedding planning from a distance requires quite a bit of coordination. I gently remind them that I am a minister, not a wedding planner. However, having said that I am happy to point couples in the right direction.

If you are planning a wedding and don’t know where to start…here are some things to consider (in no particular order)

Type of wedding
Formal, semi-formal, casual, themed… traditional, contemporary, religious, inter-faith, multi-culture, spiritual, non-religious, civil… there are so many labels…

Oh yes...one more...  a  surprise wedding.. I have officiated several of these. Sometimes family and friends think they are attending a birthday party, cookout or some other event, only to find out they have been invited to a wedding! And once even the groom was surprised to learn his 'vacation' to North Carolina was his wedding. The bride made all of the arrangements and even had their wedding clothes (formal attire) shipped ahead of time. She told him on the morning of their wedding that they needed to get their marriage license. (he was thrilled!)

Number of Guests
Although the budget is important, the number of guests you plan on inviting will often determine the budget. Will your wedding be ‘couple only’, family and friends, or will it be a large affair, including several hundred guests? I suggest making of rough list, divided into three categories of guests, absolute, should, and maybe. (just an example) This will help you choose your venue and possibly affect or determine your budget.

Date of wedding
Many wedding venues book up quickly, particularly during spring and fall. You may want to have a couple of dates in mind. Weather, holidays, school calendars, work schedules may be a consideration. After you have a date in mind, check with the ‘key’ people (family and wedding party) to make sure there are no conflicts

Some venues will give a discount for off season, Friday or Sunday weddings. Even the time is a factor at the larger venues. Morning or afternoon weddings are sometimes less expensive that evening weddings.

Location
Indoor or Outdoor: church, chapel, wedding venue, bed & breakfast, inn, estate, villa, winery, park or other public area, historical site, private home or rented cabin. (And yes, you can have a religious wedding at any of these locations.)

Many couples ask about waterfall weddings… After all there are thousands in North Carolina…I always remind couples to consider the physical ability of their guests. Most waterfalls require some effort. Hiking or a large number of steps (Looking Glass Falls) may be required. And there are no rest rooms. I have officiated weddings where the bride has walked a mile (or farther) dressed in a wedding gown and high heel shoes… in the summer… If this is your dream wedding, be sure to allow plenty of time… and make sure your guests are aware of what will be required.

And there was an instance last summer at Hickory Nut Falls (this did not happen to me) where there was a downpour when the wedding was taking place. Needless to say, everyone was drenched! I saw the bride and groom (after the ceremony and the rain had stopped) posing for photographs. They did not look happy!

Which brings me to another very important point…. have a backup rain site. This is not as important if you’re planning a small family wedding and everyone is ok with a little rain. But trust me; if you’re planning a large wedding your guests will very much appreciate the fact that you have a ‘back up’ plan. And it doesn’t have to be rain. In the spring or fall, the weather could be quite cold. It’s not unusual for us to have a ‘cold snap’ at the end of April or the first of May. And who knows what the fall will be like. This year the weather has been great. Here it is almost Thanksgiving and we’re near 70 degrees, for days now.

Have a plan… you can always wait until you see the weather forecast and make the call, even on the day of your wedding. Just be sure you have a way of notifying your guests…

Who will officiate
In North Carolina you have two choices: a magistrate or ordained minister. Some magistrates will travel but most are only available for weddings performed at the courthouse. If you are a church member, your pastor may not be available to travel to your location. Here’s where I come in…  I am a non-denominational ordained minister (Hospice chaplain) and can officiate any type of ceremony at any location. I will need to know the date, time and location before I can verify my availability. Once my service is secured, I will work with you to create the perfect wedding ceremony, each and every detail… This will allow you time and energy to attend to the other areas that require attention.

Budget
This is a biggie. When our daughters were married (within six weeks of each other) we started with a budget. I soon realized I did not have a clear idea of exactly how much a wedding would cost! (or should I say two weddings…) And… to be honest, our budget kept increasing…For us, the budget was important, not so much as a limit but to keep the weddings equitable. Neither of their weddings were large but as I’m sure you will quickly find out, if not already, the cost keeps increasing… venue, cake (and topper), food, flowers, photographer, DJ, chairs and tablecloth rental, invitations/postage, overnight accommodations for guests… not counting the dress, veil (and jeweled headband…), shoes, jewelry,… and don’t forget the expensive ‘gotta have’ undergarments that make the wedding dress fit perfectly… And the day of ….hair, makeup, nails etc…. the list and the budget keeps escalating…

Once you have an idea of the venue and the number of guests your expecting you’ll be able to calculate a budget. If you’re started with a fixed amount for your budget, chose the three most important things and allow for those expenses first. These should be the three things that will make your wedding perfect!

Reception
Buffet, sit down, or appetizers? Alcohol, full bar, wine and beer only, or perhaps ‘cash’ bar? If you include alcohol, this could increase your budget significantly, depending on what you choose. Some venues, charge a ‘corkage fee’ if you provide your own wine.

Some venues prepare the food on site or they may require that you chose from one of their ‘approved caterers’. I have officiated several small family weddings where the couple hired ‘personal chefs’. This was a great idea and I’ll be happy to give you more details if it interests you.

And there have been couples who, with the help of their families, prepared the food for the reception. This is a great way to save money but does add a lot of stress if the couple is actually doing the work themselves… If you’re looking at this option. ..Delegate.. Allow your family and friends to help. This is your wedding day and you don’t want to be running around like a crazy person…

Other things to think about..
Flowers, wedding cake and table decorations? What about music, live, DJ or recorded? Photographer? Wedding favors? Honeymoon?

So…… after reading through this, you’ve started to re-think the whole big wedding plan, ready to throw your hands up and elope…. Many couples become overwhelmed by the planning (and cost) and decide to have a personal private wedding. (hint... RiverMist) In many cases, there is a reception at a later date to celebrate with family and friends. This works perfectly for many couples and they’re relaxed, stress-free and can enjoy the celebration..

Whatever you decide, make your wedding about the two of you and what you want.

 I’m writing this while looking at the beautiful Atlantic Ocean, taking a little vacation from fall weddings…

The temperature is perfect, rates are low and the beach is deserted. At night I fall asleep listening to the waves, with the sliding door open, and wake up each morning to a beautiful sunrise over the ocean. 

Just me and the gulls on the beach. This one was taking a little siesta beside me and looked so funny with his head turned completely around and tucked under his wings.

North Carolina is wonderful… from the mountains to the coast......nothing could be finer….

Fall Wedding at Chetola in Blowing Rock

Fall is a wonderful time to get married in North Carolina. Just ask Chris and Sandra who traveled from Florida to marry at the beautiful Chetola Resort.


Chetola has many options for wedding ceremonies. There are several outside locations and small intimate weddings can take place inside, in front of a beautiful stone fireplace.
We included an oathing stone as part of the vows. Chris and Sandra each held rose quartz (the stone of love) as they made their promises, thus ‘setting them in stone’. This stone was later used in the ceremony as part of the ring blessing. After the ceremony, the stone will be placed in a prominent place in their home ‘to keep love alive’.

Looks like that won't be a problem for these two.

The area by the lake is a great spot for photos and I wanted to share a few with you.

Many thanks to Jeremy Gouge the photographer who took these lovely photos!